Moderator- Michael Monvi
Today, I attended the ICA Course FC-107 Power Listening 2 and I would like to share what I have learned during the session with you:
Just like our reading material said: “A little-recognized value of listening and inquiring relates to the realization that in human relationships, it is frequently not what the facts are, but what people think the facts are, which is truly important. There is benefit in learning what someone else's concept of the reality of the situation is.” (Bryan Bell)
In the process, Michael, took the role play technology to run this session and have us to find out the powerful strength about powerful listening. Before the ending, Michael pretended to be a client and told us about his issue, and asked us to give him a question for break through. I learned a lot from this session by just listening.
If a client is unable to move beyond a past issue, injury or disappointment, this may be a sign that they are in need of counseling or therapy, rather than coaching (or in addition to coaching). If they can’t move to a future focus, then they should be referred on to an appropriately qualified therapist.
Use your intuition: Listen from the heart and pick up on all communication. Share with the client things you are sensing and feeling. Intuition is a very powerful coaching tool. If the coach is sensing something the client is saying, it is best to share it with them.
2009/2/19
Reflection on Peer Coaching
Peer Coaching with Mrs. Faiza IkedaFeb. 18, 2009, I had my fourth peer coaching with my peer coach, Miss Faiza and would like to describe this coaching process a little for my personal record. I named it as “Be Presence Session”.
In this session, we had a role play practice again, but this time we did the reverse role play way-I played to be my wife and Faiza to be me. This time of the process is tougher that last time we did, due to be someone else, it is harder to pretend. The coaching process:
a. Centering : Again, Faiza invited me to do deep breath together with her and comfort me to relax myself and feel to have a very safe environment to talk always. This is a very good skill and comforting time for me to make me be more concentrated and relaxed for this coaching session.
Ask question: Sharing your wins to me about the past week?
1. An inner dialog with my wife
2. Exercise more with running 3km/per week/per time
3. A list about how good of my wife
b. Review what we have discussed last time to facilitate me in deep thinking and remind me what I have promised to myself. Go forwarder, we practiced a reverse role-play session. Faiza played to be me, and I played to be my wife, we had a special circumstance to do the conversation practice, it is about the different opinion about my son’s education. I have been through a tough experience for this reverse role play session (even during the process, I found out that I didn’t know my wife well as what I thought). There is a new skill named “Reiki-Energy Work” which Faiza practiced for 10 years already. It is very helpful for inner dialog learning, if we have strong intention on something, then we can have power to connect it with.
c. My Coach, Faiza shared me with her experience about inner dialog practice and what it works to her. This is very helpful to me.
Ending with some actions:
Read the list which I have done regarding how good of my wife:
1. Make money for our family
2. Stimulate me for outdoor activities.
3. Give me a good kid and wonderful family life.
4. Bring me to her family, we had a lot of good time with her family such as her parent, brothers, and sisters.
5. Do some more challenges which I can handle to upgrade myself.
In this session, we had a role play practice again, but this time we did the reverse role play way-I played to be my wife and Faiza to be me. This time of the process is tougher that last time we did, due to be someone else, it is harder to pretend. The coaching process:
a. Centering : Again, Faiza invited me to do deep breath together with her and comfort me to relax myself and feel to have a very safe environment to talk always. This is a very good skill and comforting time for me to make me be more concentrated and relaxed for this coaching session.
Ask question: Sharing your wins to me about the past week?
1. An inner dialog with my wife
2. Exercise more with running 3km/per week/per time
3. A list about how good of my wife
b. Review what we have discussed last time to facilitate me in deep thinking and remind me what I have promised to myself. Go forwarder, we practiced a reverse role-play session. Faiza played to be me, and I played to be my wife, we had a special circumstance to do the conversation practice, it is about the different opinion about my son’s education. I have been through a tough experience for this reverse role play session (even during the process, I found out that I didn’t know my wife well as what I thought). There is a new skill named “Reiki-Energy Work” which Faiza practiced for 10 years already. It is very helpful for inner dialog learning, if we have strong intention on something, then we can have power to connect it with.
c. My Coach, Faiza shared me with her experience about inner dialog practice and what it works to her. This is very helpful to me.
Ending with some actions:
Read the list which I have done regarding how good of my wife:
1. Make money for our family
2. Stimulate me for outdoor activities.
3. Give me a good kid and wonderful family life.
4. Bring me to her family, we had a lot of good time with her family such as her parent, brothers, and sisters.
5. Do some more challenges which I can handle to upgrade myself.
2009/2/16
AC202 Powerful Questions (2) - Reflection
Moderator-Bill Turpin
Feb. 12, I took the ICA teleclass course- AC202 Powerful Questions (2).
I am really touched by the sentence -” Powerful Q comes, when we are fully present there!”
A coach will frequently ask questions that help the client align their topic of discussion to their
overall values, visions and dreams. These questions are essential, because one of our primary
roles as coaches is to assist clients to live in alignment with their own values and to work towards
major goals. The client, living in the midst of their own whirlwind of life experiences, will often find it difficult to focus on their values and goals. This is when we, as coaches, can help them to
realign by asking them questions that remind them of the bigger picture.
Some examples of aligning questions from our reading material would be:
● “What would your life be like if it were exactly the way you wanted it to be? What is
holding you back?”
● “If you won the lottery what would you do?”
● “If you did know, what would it look like?”
● “Who is in control here?”
● “If I had a magic wand and could grant you any wish, what would it be?”
● How does what we are talking about align with your values?
Questioning is really just an extension of listening. Questioning only occurs in response to
what the client is saying.“Questions are tools that need to be used strategically and purposefully by the coach to support the client on their learning journey, but each client’s journey will be unique.
The coach’s overall goal is to move the dialogue in a direction, which assists the client to meet his or her goals.” It expressed all what I had learned from this course.
Feb. 12, I took the ICA teleclass course- AC202 Powerful Questions (2).
I am really touched by the sentence -” Powerful Q comes, when we are fully present there!”
A coach will frequently ask questions that help the client align their topic of discussion to their
overall values, visions and dreams. These questions are essential, because one of our primary
roles as coaches is to assist clients to live in alignment with their own values and to work towards
major goals. The client, living in the midst of their own whirlwind of life experiences, will often find it difficult to focus on their values and goals. This is when we, as coaches, can help them to
realign by asking them questions that remind them of the bigger picture.
Some examples of aligning questions from our reading material would be:
● “What would your life be like if it were exactly the way you wanted it to be? What is
holding you back?”
● “If you won the lottery what would you do?”
● “If you did know, what would it look like?”
● “Who is in control here?”
● “If I had a magic wand and could grant you any wish, what would it be?”
● How does what we are talking about align with your values?
Questioning is really just an extension of listening. Questioning only occurs in response to
what the client is saying.“Questions are tools that need to be used strategically and purposefully by the coach to support the client on their learning journey, but each client’s journey will be unique.
The coach’s overall goal is to move the dialogue in a direction, which assists the client to meet his or her goals.” It expressed all what I had learned from this course.
AC202 Powerful Questions (3) - Reflection
Moderator-Joanne Waldman
Feb. 11, I spent time to jump into the ICA teleclass course- AC202 Powerful Questions (3).
As usual, the moderator asked us, any wins to share at the beginning.
What is the definition of powerful questions?
1. Is that the Q that take your breath away?
2. Is that the Q that stop you in traps?
3. Is that the Q that open the possibility for you?
4. Is that the Q verify who you are?
5. Is that the Q that make you thinking out of box?
During the courses, we had some simulation practices:
a. A client has no idea how to grow up?
b. A client wants to have a healthy lifestyle.
c. How if someone would like to manage their time more effectively?
What would be the powerful questions for these particular situations? If you want someone to reflect further on a problem or view it from a different angle, some of the most powerful questions to ask are the following:
● “How can I best coach you in this situation?”
● “What would be the best question to ask you right now to help you think clearly about this situation?”
● “What is the lesson here?”
● “What do you need to do now?”
If you think someone is holding back through fear or insecurity, some of the best questions to ask are the following:
● “What are you resisting?”
● “Have you been here before?”
● “Are you holding on to something you need to let go of perhaps?”
● “What is the worst thing that could happen? Can you live with that?”
● “What are you not telling me?”
Acknowledge ourselves, we must have confidence to just be there to be company with the client for their journey.
Feb. 11, I spent time to jump into the ICA teleclass course- AC202 Powerful Questions (3).
As usual, the moderator asked us, any wins to share at the beginning.
What is the definition of powerful questions?
1. Is that the Q that take your breath away?
2. Is that the Q that stop you in traps?
3. Is that the Q that open the possibility for you?
4. Is that the Q verify who you are?
5. Is that the Q that make you thinking out of box?
During the courses, we had some simulation practices:
a. A client has no idea how to grow up?
b. A client wants to have a healthy lifestyle.
c. How if someone would like to manage their time more effectively?
What would be the powerful questions for these particular situations? If you want someone to reflect further on a problem or view it from a different angle, some of the most powerful questions to ask are the following:
● “How can I best coach you in this situation?”
● “What would be the best question to ask you right now to help you think clearly about this situation?”
● “What is the lesson here?”
● “What do you need to do now?”
If you think someone is holding back through fear or insecurity, some of the best questions to ask are the following:
● “What are you resisting?”
● “Have you been here before?”
● “Are you holding on to something you need to let go of perhaps?”
● “What is the worst thing that could happen? Can you live with that?”
● “What are you not telling me?”
Acknowledge ourselves, we must have confidence to just be there to be company with the client for their journey.
Peer Coaching: Reflection on Learning Buddy Coaching
Peer Coaching with Mrs. Faiza Ikeda
Feb. 12, 2009, I had my third peer coaching with my peer coach, Miss Faiza and would like to describe this coaching process a little for my personal record.
I named it as “Role Play Practice Session”. In this session, we practiced a role play practice-I have been through a very good experience for role play (even during the process, I have some tough time in thinking of the conversation).
The coaching process:
a. Centering : Again, Faiza invited me to do deep breath together with her and comfort me to relax myself and feel to have a very safe environment to talk always. This is a very good skill and comforting time for me to make me be more concentrated and relaxed for this coaching session. Ask question: Sharing your wins to me?
1. The acronym of my Chinese name, Jen-Yung: Just Empower “Never say never” strength -Yield to an Universal and Natural Guidance.
2. Do something small more to be a better me.
b. Review what we have discussed last time to facilitate me in deep thinking and remind me what I have promised to myself. Go forwarder, we practiced a role-play session. Faiza played to be my wife, and we had a special circumstance to do the conversation practice. I have been through a very good experience for role play (even during the process, I have some tough time in thinking of the conversation). There was a sentence from Faiza which made me in deeper thinking about my tough situation, “you knew me very well right at the beginning.”
c. My Coach, Faiza shared me with a article from Inspiring Learning Organization- Standards of Presence.
Ending with some actions:
a. Do something small to be better me.
b. Run a conversation with myself (Role-Play) again in deeper. Thinking a particular situation, ask question, and have the conversation inside my mind to see what will be? Let the emotional and experience to flow free themselves.
Feb. 12, 2009, I had my third peer coaching with my peer coach, Miss Faiza and would like to describe this coaching process a little for my personal record.
I named it as “Role Play Practice Session”. In this session, we practiced a role play practice-I have been through a very good experience for role play (even during the process, I have some tough time in thinking of the conversation).
The coaching process:
a. Centering : Again, Faiza invited me to do deep breath together with her and comfort me to relax myself and feel to have a very safe environment to talk always. This is a very good skill and comforting time for me to make me be more concentrated and relaxed for this coaching session. Ask question: Sharing your wins to me?
1. The acronym of my Chinese name, Jen-Yung: Just Empower “Never say never” strength -Yield to an Universal and Natural Guidance.
2. Do something small more to be a better me.
b. Review what we have discussed last time to facilitate me in deep thinking and remind me what I have promised to myself. Go forwarder, we practiced a role-play session. Faiza played to be my wife, and we had a special circumstance to do the conversation practice. I have been through a very good experience for role play (even during the process, I have some tough time in thinking of the conversation). There was a sentence from Faiza which made me in deeper thinking about my tough situation, “you knew me very well right at the beginning.”
c. My Coach, Faiza shared me with a article from Inspiring Learning Organization- Standards of Presence.
Ending with some actions:
a. Do something small to be better me.
b. Run a conversation with myself (Role-Play) again in deeper. Thinking a particular situation, ask question, and have the conversation inside my mind to see what will be? Let the emotional and experience to flow free themselves.
2009/2/12
AC109 Confidence (3)-Reflection on this session
Moderator-Michael Moniv
Yesterday, I took a teleclass course, AC109 Confidence (3), I really got inspired about the sentence: “ Simple question may change a lot” which is shared by Michael.
One of the main things that holds a new coach back and sometimes a more seasoned coach, is confidence. Perhaps we fear we do not have anything of value to offer. This could not be further from the truth. We all have something to offer our clients based upon our life experiences and because of simply who we are.
Consider how powerful a coach you will be when you can improve a client's life. Not by changing all their circumstances - which they are busily trying to do - but by Re-framing their perspective.Is it matter to me some years later? This is a very powerful question which we can ask ourselves to shift perspective while we don’t fell confidence, just make focusing on the future.
Understanding your value: For most new coaches, one of the biggest blocks is doubt in oneself. We're usually worried that without being extensive in an area, we might not have done enough. Worse yet, we believe we will be called a fraud. Or what if, at some point in the session, we don't have an answer, or don’t know what to say? So here's the message for us: We have a lot to offer! Such as: Listening/Partnering in their success/a different perspective/our life experience… etc
Re-framing your personal perspective: How comfortable do you feel five minutes before a coaching session? How do we feel if it doesn’t go as planned? Are we comfortable enough to invite ALL of our friends and colleagues to experience a coaching session with me? If we’re not free to coach, it’s probably because of our own Perspective. For example, if we feel that people have serious problems, which MUST be fixed, we might feel some pressure, or reluctance, even concern as a coach to move forward. Just as we support our clients to distinguish a Perspective, and Re-Frame it, we should do the same. we will know when we have made the mental shift, because we will feel complete freedom to coach anyone.
I enjoyed this session very much, thank you so much, Michael and all attendants' input during the course.
Yesterday, I took a teleclass course, AC109 Confidence (3), I really got inspired about the sentence: “ Simple question may change a lot” which is shared by Michael.
One of the main things that holds a new coach back and sometimes a more seasoned coach, is confidence. Perhaps we fear we do not have anything of value to offer. This could not be further from the truth. We all have something to offer our clients based upon our life experiences and because of simply who we are.
Consider how powerful a coach you will be when you can improve a client's life. Not by changing all their circumstances - which they are busily trying to do - but by Re-framing their perspective.Is it matter to me some years later? This is a very powerful question which we can ask ourselves to shift perspective while we don’t fell confidence, just make focusing on the future.
Understanding your value: For most new coaches, one of the biggest blocks is doubt in oneself. We're usually worried that without being extensive in an area, we might not have done enough. Worse yet, we believe we will be called a fraud. Or what if, at some point in the session, we don't have an answer, or don’t know what to say? So here's the message for us: We have a lot to offer! Such as: Listening/Partnering in their success/a different perspective/our life experience… etc
Re-framing your personal perspective: How comfortable do you feel five minutes before a coaching session? How do we feel if it doesn’t go as planned? Are we comfortable enough to invite ALL of our friends and colleagues to experience a coaching session with me? If we’re not free to coach, it’s probably because of our own Perspective. For example, if we feel that people have serious problems, which MUST be fixed, we might feel some pressure, or reluctance, even concern as a coach to move forward. Just as we support our clients to distinguish a Perspective, and Re-Frame it, we should do the same. we will know when we have made the mental shift, because we will feel complete freedom to coach anyone.
I enjoyed this session very much, thank you so much, Michael and all attendants' input during the course.
2009/2/11
AC110 The Challenging Client-Relection on this course
Moderator- Sherry Read
The day before yesterday, Feb. 09, I attended the ICA Course AC110 The Challenging Client and I would like to share what I have learned during the session: Just like our reading material said: Wouldn’t it be wonderful if all our clients were always excited, willing and able to take action? What a perfect world it would be if all we had to do was create a space for them to be their best so they could just step right into action and wow, be on their way.
I would like to share what I have learned from this teleclass into the followings:
Not everyone is coachable, I am so impressed about this sentence. As a coach, be ready to support your clients to discover what would be the best idea for them right now; even if that means that you need to stop the coaching sessions.
Not every client is going to be the right client for you, if you are coaching someone who simply is not a good fit, support him or her to find another coach. Coaching someone who is not a good fit for your style of coaching can be draining.
Putting policies up front! Make sure that you go over each policy and procedure to clarify any questions or misunderstandings ahead of time. This will save a lot of time. When we are done reviewing the business structure with our clients, they should know what is expected of them as well as understand how we manage our coaching practice.
When something is not right:
When something happens in the coaching session that doesn’t feel right, address it immediately. It doesn’t matter if you cannot exactly identify what happened. Instead, just share with the client what you perceive and communicate that something doesn’t feel right.
High needs clients
If this client becomes too demanding, talk to them. Make a time outside the coaching sessions to discuss how the coaching relationship is going and to re-emphasize the boundaries that you have set.
Using the Introductory Session
Remember that the trial session is a two way street. It is a time when the client decides whether the coach is the best fit for them but it is also a time when the coach decides whether the client is someone they want to work with.
What I have thought a lot for the following questions:
1. Think of one situation where you are being challenged right now. How can you manage this situation to make a positive experience for all involved?
2. None of us are perfect, think of a time when you have been the challenging client or person. How did you feel and why did you react the way you did? What insight did you learn from this experience?
This is a really helpful session while we are coaching someone who is a challenging client.
The day before yesterday, Feb. 09, I attended the ICA Course AC110 The Challenging Client and I would like to share what I have learned during the session: Just like our reading material said: Wouldn’t it be wonderful if all our clients were always excited, willing and able to take action? What a perfect world it would be if all we had to do was create a space for them to be their best so they could just step right into action and wow, be on their way.
I would like to share what I have learned from this teleclass into the followings:
Not everyone is coachable, I am so impressed about this sentence. As a coach, be ready to support your clients to discover what would be the best idea for them right now; even if that means that you need to stop the coaching sessions.
Not every client is going to be the right client for you, if you are coaching someone who simply is not a good fit, support him or her to find another coach. Coaching someone who is not a good fit for your style of coaching can be draining.
Putting policies up front! Make sure that you go over each policy and procedure to clarify any questions or misunderstandings ahead of time. This will save a lot of time. When we are done reviewing the business structure with our clients, they should know what is expected of them as well as understand how we manage our coaching practice.
When something is not right:
When something happens in the coaching session that doesn’t feel right, address it immediately. It doesn’t matter if you cannot exactly identify what happened. Instead, just share with the client what you perceive and communicate that something doesn’t feel right.
High needs clients
If this client becomes too demanding, talk to them. Make a time outside the coaching sessions to discuss how the coaching relationship is going and to re-emphasize the boundaries that you have set.
Using the Introductory Session
Remember that the trial session is a two way street. It is a time when the client decides whether the coach is the best fit for them but it is also a time when the coach decides whether the client is someone they want to work with.
What I have thought a lot for the following questions:
1. Think of one situation where you are being challenged right now. How can you manage this situation to make a positive experience for all involved?
2. None of us are perfect, think of a time when you have been the challenging client or person. How did you feel and why did you react the way you did? What insight did you learn from this experience?
This is a really helpful session while we are coaching someone who is a challenging client.
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